WHY DO I CONSTANTLY CRAVE TO BE SIXTEEN AGAIN !!

What’s worse than failure? Succeeding at what doesn’t matter !!

MIRACLES OF YESTERDAY, THAT DEFINE ME TODAY !

Some choose to Follow .... some choose to Believe ...I chose Both !!

I am a born Hindu but I don't religiously follow what I was born to.

I am a free soul and I tend to deviate from the conventional religious traditions that my family or relatives practice , probably because I was not brought up that way! I instead of following their instructions ... follow what my heart or rather what my inner voice instructs.... and what I truly believe is the voice of Lord Shiva .... and sometimes Jesus Christ! I consider the latter the reserved kind... speaks very little .... listens a lot ..... smiles a lot more... at whatever he is listening . Lord Shiva is the one who talks to me a lot... or rather warns me a lot ... just like my father, " Don't do this... I'm telling you! Don't come crying to me later on!" I'm like , " Yeah! whatever dude!" As usual like a stubborn child ... I don't and yes! I do go crying to him.... and then he gives me that look ... with his raised eyebrow and all.. that mocking smile on his face ... " What did I tell ya!" Finally ,his insulting laugh .... But then no matter how big the problem is ... no matter how deep the shit is...he gets me out of there...safe and sound... Gives me another chance ... always does ... Just like my father!

Now I might sound all crazy talking about two of the most talked about Gods as if they are normal human beings or something but this is how I have grown to believe in them... this is how I have grown to bond with them ... this is how I have grown to acknowledge the fact that there is indeed some supernatural divine power guiding me at every step of my life ... especially when I am in trouble ... especially when I am in desperate need of some sort of guidance.. love... support ... mentor ship , and I am not getting any of the that from humans around me .... Not from some mythological books or religious scriptures... No! not at all .... I don't even dare touch them .... they make me sick of their complexities in trying to explain Who God is ..... When the fact is it is so simple to find him... understand him .... as he is right within you... ( Mind you! It can be a She too .... depends on whom you are visualizing .... in my case it's a HE!) It might all sound so cliche .... all that one has grown up listening from grandparents and parents.. teachers and seniors etc..etc...

But the whole listening adds a  completely different value to your belief system when you actually experience something .... which helps transform your listenings to beliefs . I too have literally grown up listening about God and what not ... from almost everyone around me .... But there were only a handful who actually helped me experience what I was listening to! My mother for instance never sat and read out 'Ramayana' or 'Mahabharata' or 'Shiva Purana' to me .... no... never .... she was too busy picking up the pieces of her and her family's struggling life ... which was always on the verge of falling apart... she couldn't possibly take out the time for divine surrealism ...when reality was too harsh for anything ...anything at all. She instead would narrate bed time stories to my siblings and me in the most simplest of manner .... without any complicated religious jargon... simple stories ... simple real life experiences where Lord Shiva had helped her .... saved her .... She would often tell us that that Shivji was very innocent and that is why he helps all those who are innocent or rather ignorant of the worldly cunningness .... manipulation ! She would often advice us to try it .... if we would demand something .... with genuine emotions... even if it was anger ... he would grant it . She never told us the story of his life ... his purpose of existence .... his importance or place in Hindu mythology .... Just how he would help when needed... How he appeared physically ( which greatly helped me visualize him) ... How he reacted and how he would speak back to her .... and then she would say try it .... If you don't fake your emotions ... he will listen ..... and Guess what!! I did try it a number of times and HE DID... HE NOT ONLY LISTENED ... HE RESPONDED ! This is how I grew up believing in him and ultimately following him . 

I have many experiences to share but this one particular incident has had an undying impact on my memory . I was in my first year of graduation and it was after a break of 3 years I was going to write my exams. I had to drop 2 years before that because of which I was behind my peers by 2 years. This time and career loss often shook my confidence in me .... often it would make me gloomy and doubtful about my future. What was worse was that just before my final exams I fell terminally ill... I couldn't prepare and I was extremely nervous. I thought another year was going to go a waste.  My parents although extremely supportive could not understand the anxiety in me . Somehow I managed most of my papers but by my last exam I was completely exhausted ... with one day for preparation & no signs of recovery .... along with constant fear of failure ... took a toll on me and I spend the entire day and the night weeping in my bed ...weak...physically...mentally...emotionally. My parents were angry at me for not even giving it a try ..... upset that I had given up on life .... worried that there was no hope for me .... helplessly tried to console me and boost me so that I would atleast built the courage to write the paper. But I was not myself that day ... I had given up! In life a lot of them might say they are failures ..... but to feel like one ... behave like one .... IT IS THE MOST PATHETIC FEELING IN THE ENTIRE FUCKING WORLD !!

I was so mad at myself .... to not have a control of my own body ... my own mind ..... my own thoughts .... and nobody in this mortal world could understand what I was going through ! In that desperation I took out all my anger on Lord Shiva .... I abused him... blamed him for my condition .... my imperfect life ... warned him to give up on him too... finally threatened him ... that If I would fail this exam ... I would never talk to him again! Who talks to God like that right! Well I do .... all the time ... every time I  am upset .... It is just that I am not faking my emotions with him... I'm not following the laid down "RULES" ..... I just express myself exactly as the way he sees it ..... not pretending to be respectful to him ... when I don't feel like it .... I AM JUST ME AND HE IS JUST HE !!

Nevertheless , within minutes of that conversation I started feeling better... could feel my strength coming back to me .... my confidence ..... my energy .... every thing ..... But this was just like 2 hours before the examination. I finally decided to have a small chit chat with him before I went into battle .... and here is the conversation :-

ME : ok, listen ... very carefully . I have an hour left . tell me what is important . Just give me  a hint and I will study that.

(I had a whole pile of books on my bed and I started placing my finger on each book one by one.)

HE : This one !

(It was one of those 10 year solved papers.)

ME : Ok, lets see... I have 4 units ... each unit has around 15-20 chapters and these questions cover almost all chapters . I cant study all the answers in each unit so I will go with one answer from each unit. After 4 if there is still time (which by the way there wasn't) I will pick another 4. 

HE : And what do I do till then?

 ( His insulting smirk was back on his face .... his left eyebrow up .... that look of ... " what did I tell ya !" ( he often tells me to study before hand and not procrastinate) .... Gosh! I so hate that look on his face .... but then I so love it because I know he is now going to save my ass!!) 

ME : Well you don't get to sit idle definitely .... I will point at every question one by one and then you tell me which one to study and which one to leave . Got it !

HE : Got it !

(The look on his face persists... as if he is enjoying the whole game ...testing me .... enjoying the show ...watching the 'CONTROLLED' play the 'CONTROLLER'.... He mesmerises me after a while ...I can look at his beautiful face forever ...all hypnotized....madly in love ... but I don't have time and so I continue .)

ME : This one ?

HE : Leave.

ME : This one ? 

HE : No Leave .... move your fingers fast .... you don't have that much time ...and neither do I ... have others to attend to !

ME : Don't you fucking move! Others can be attended an hour later.

HE : Did you just use the 'F' word for me ! 

( I am embarrassed and I blush .... he bursts out laughing like crazy ! We Both laugh together!!)

ME : This ?

HE : Yes! Definitely study this one .

( This continues till I finally have my four questions... one from each unit ... )

In the next 45 minutes I manage to learn only the 4 answers ... as they are long question based answers.... I head out for my exams... taking my parents blessings... his are always with me ..... 

15 minutes into the examination hall... I receive my question paper. First question is compulsory .... each 3 marks ... short ones ... I know most of them ... basic concepts... not much of a problem. 

The real challenge are the Unit based Questions .... Long Answers... each carries 10 marks... 4 Units... 4 questions .... approx. 40 -50 chapters ... possibility of countless type of questions being framed .... I have studied ONLY 4 ... that too based on what my Shivji instructed .....( and what others would call a petty co incidence .... an inkling .... some smart asses would also say I'm hearing voices and try to reason this 'phenomenon' with some shitty scientific theory/ hypothesis !)   BUT I LISTENED .... I BELIEVED ... AND I FOLLOWED !!

I opened my booklet .... 
ALL 4 QUESTIONS ARE THERE IN THE PAPER .... 
ALL 4 ( out of all the countless possibilities.. all the fucking possibilities!)
I see him smiling again .... this time a different smile .... a smile that I see on my father's face when he has managed to solve my problem ... a smile of satisfaction ... that he has delivered what his child had expected ... a smile of relief that his child is no more in pain! I smile back in gratitude .... almost tear eyed ... and then pray to him before starting my new venture .... to give me strength ... No! wait he already has .... to give me strength to sustain what he has instilled in me !! 

I write a brilliant paper and score one of the highest scores for that subject in my entire batch!!

SOME CHOOSE TO FOLLOW .... SOME CHOOSE TO BELIEVE ... I CHOSE BOTH ... I BELIEVED AND I FOLLOWED !! 

HYPOCRISY AT IT'S BEST !!

NAU SAU CHUHE KHAA KE BILLI HAJ KO CHALI !!

Recently read this article and also have managed to survive mid way through Gandhi's Autobiography . Well , Being an Indian I dare not say anything against " THE FATHER OF THE NATION !" ( I often wondered why is he called that .... and now I guess I know why ! ) & Being human I cannot blindly support a "man made God" ... against my value system . Thus , a link for the readers ... Go on ... visit the page .... and build your own perspective on this one . At least I already have ... and trust me it has not changed from what it was before ... only strengthened further !!

http://www.independent.co.uk/arts-entertainment/books/features/thrill-of-the-chaste-the-truth-about-gandhis-sex-life-1937411.html?fb_action_ids=10151912965205562&fb_action_types=news.reads&fb_source=other_multiline&action_object_map=%7B%2210151912965205562%22%3A424468534241%7D#access_token=AAADWQ6323IoBALkKFKzSKWE6drpZB9FZBZCaOvYNvnnnglaZCulCwtVbMPmxgo5xEtc7Dp1seIzcDwICOWTDnxuiJKHWLRUCVgaUbUtx9W4meXwTegn5&expires_in=5382

UNCERTAINITY!!

MY DESTINY IS IN MY HAND,

BUT MY HANDS ARE FEELING WEAK,

TRIEN TO HOLD AS TIGHT AS I CAN,

BUT THE ONLY THING I CAN DO IS WEEP,

COZ LIFE IS TOO SHORT AND TIME WAITS FOR NONE,

AND I'M JUST TOO SCARED AS MY LIFE IS SO UNCERTAIN,

UNCERTAIN IS THE SCARIEST WORD I HAVE EVER HEARD,

I WISH I COULD GO BEYOND AND FLY LIKE A FREE BIRD,

BUT THE SUN'S TO BRIGHT AND MY EYES ARE HURTING,

THERE IS NO AIR AND MY WINGS ARE CURTAINED,

ALL I COULD DO IS WAIT PATIENTLY... FOR MY TIME WILL DEFINITELY COME...

COZ MY DESTINY IS IN MY HAND.

AND MY HANDS WON'T THEN FEEL WEAK!!

BY : SHIVANI SRIVASTAVA !

DOST !!

SHADY !!

There was a time when I was sad and lonely,

Human friends of mine were few only.

I could feel my world slowly shrinking,

I was silent, yet constantly shreiking ……..

My tears dried !

My feelings died ! !.

I could not feel the joy of winning,

Could not feel the pain of loosing……….

I was in a crowd ,Yet all alone…

I could hear myself loudly shout………….Yet all alone! !

I wanted to run,

Din’t know where to go….

Din’t know where to hide…….

Din’t know what to do………

FREE , yet always was tied.

I had A tongue,…………..But had no words.

I had ears around me…………….But my voice not heard ! !,

I needed a friend,

But all in vain.

Cause the more I tried to make one…….

The more they withdrew away.

Life was A burden,

Changes were all so sudden.

I knew I would have crumbled,

If not for that one day……………

YES……..that one day,

When I needed him the most,

Came that very special DOST…..

Oh No ! I am not talking about A boy,

I am talking about my adorable pet ‘ TOY ‘.

‘ Toy ‘ was A sweet little Rabbit,

Caring for it had become A habit.

He kept me occupied,

And soon…………….Soon all my negativities died.

He was my little baby

Growing infront of me………maybe.

I would talk impatiently,

He would listen patiently.

He harmonized my thoughts……

And I loved him lots and lots.

His tenderly licking my hands,

Just showed how much he cared.

His quietly sleeping on my lap,

Just showed he was not at all scared.

He loved food,

Was always in A good mood.

He played everywhere,

Was unsafe nowhere.

He was my God’s Angel,

Sent to bring A smile on my face.

Oh ! my Gaurdian Angel…………..

I will never forget those days.

Toy ; went through his share of pain and joy.

He was delicate , mostly unwell.

But Oh ! He was Toy ; ‘ THE GREAT TOY ‘

Who struggled and led his life well.

He showed me A different side of life,

I was now optimistic ; at the edge of A knife…

Was now happy and hopeful……..

Was now practical but never mournful.

I became A strugller,

A good life juggler……..

I was balanced….

And so were my thoughts.

I decided not to give up,

And I instead ; Fought……………

All this I owe to my little Dost,

A dost who is an animal……….

But more human than most.

And life seemed like A carnival,

All because of my little Dost.

But destiny had other plans ,

When it’s purpose was finished,

They gave him no chance………..

I was left feeling diminished.

For , the friend I loved the most………….

I had no more , my only Dost.

He's gone , but his memories stay ,

Memories that cheer me up everyday.

I could’nt live life , but gone are those days….

I was A pessimist……..but now I think otherways,

Oh Friend ! where have you gone ?

From this world……..leaving me all alone.

I will miss you always ,

Love you forever and in everyways .

I’ll never forget the lessons you taught ,

Never forget ; how bravely with life , you fought………………

Toy , my little adorable Dost !

‘DOST’ ; I’ll always love you the most…….

SHIVANI SRIVASTAVA

5th November , 2007

Dedicated originally to ‘NEMO’..... now to 'SHADY' too !!

A NEW PLANET DISCOVERED "FAKEBOOK"... OOPS!! I MEAN "FACEBOOK ! "

The world knows that our earth is a dying planet...those ignorant ones who do not .... here is the breaking news , " YES! WE ARE DYING...NO!! THE DATE IS NOT SET BUT REST ASSURED THIS IS ONE PARTY WHERE YOU WILL NOT GET THE TIME TO DOLL UP! "  And despite knowing that there is nothing that one can do to save our asses we chose to prepare .... so in preparation we "Smart Asses!" (Read:synonym for Jack Asses!) headed out to look for life in  what I can say a "parallel universe" or .... in layman's term ... THE VIRTUAL WORLD ... THE INTERNET !! In the early 2000's we did find traces of life on some weirdly named planet ... I don't even know if I remember the name correctly.... what was it??...AARKAAT...AARKUT...no..no..something else...BISCUUT ?!! ... Ah!!Haa!! "ORKUT!" Yes! ORKUT it was ... some traces of life .... but soon our uber intelligent minds realized that ORKUT WAS DYING FASTER THAN THE EARTH .... and if they did not look for other alternatives DOOMSDAY was inevitable. Somehow I have this very strong inkling that 21st december, 2012 is indeed the apocalypse prediction for those royal loyal "Orkutians" (yes! that is what I call them.) who refuse to change and still reside on it...    " You have no hope my mates...you make me marvel at your resilience.... NO RESPECT! "

Any ways the smart ones decided to move on..kept looking ... and finally in february 2004 found a growing baby planet with scope to sustain unlimited life ... that too for free! This new planet not only showed traces of life but also scope to grow and sustain a fake belief that we are all survivors and each of our lives are so awesome...virtually of course! 

Any how it ultimately lead to substituting our real lives with that of a virtual one... feel good about the changes happening on it ...forgetting about the lack of it in reality. I too am a proud inhabitant of it by-the-way... nevertheless I confess that despite my virtual life (way more interesting than my real one) ... my conscience constantly takes deep dips into the sea of guilt ...making me realize that no matter how many posts... pictures... comments I share and like .... no matter how hard I try ... I am doing nothing for my planet...my country...my people...my family...most importantly... MYSELF !!  

My cynical brother often tells me, "The more friends you have on facebook ... the more lonely and friendless you are in real life! " Sometimes I believe him ... especially when I sit and count my near and dear ones.. they are all on my finger tips ... and yet my facebook account boasts of over 500+ friends ! Ironical? Yes! Ironical indeed!! You know what's funny?? The fact that most of my friends in my friendlist are people whom I have barely seen or met once or twice in my entire lifetime. They can be my seniors from school ... some random guy I met in the train..or a bus .... and spoke to him/her just to vile away time on a boring journey... my juniors from college ... my classmates ... whom by-the-way ,I don't even talk to in class ... anyone...just anyone and everyone. I like their wall posts & pictures and they like mine... we wish each other warm birthday wishes without even knowing the date ! ( Thanks to the FB birthday reminders!) ... But if we ever cross each other in Reality... we don't even pass courteous smiles or greetings ... what's worse is we don't even recognize each other. (Dude! Don't judge me... not my mistake... everyone is putting up photo edited/morphed/shopped pictures all the time .... they all look like bloody celebrities on facebook... In reality ...well... I wish to reserve my comments on that one . Let's not get anyone offended .)

This escapist attitude ... this inferiority complex compelling us to project it as a fake superiority complex .... this sad state of pomp and show instilling in us an unhealthy sense of competition among the users ... in the form of a cool & funky lifestyle , weakly assembled business and social network... false impression of intellect, altruism and social, environmental, political and academic awareness ... are all strong indications of a dior need of an acknowledgement in each one of us .... an acknowledgement that makes us feel secure ... safe .... a survivor ...... a winner... someone special...someone unique... that each one of us are at the top of our games (mind you...only virtually.. In reality, the one at the top of his/her game has probably not even signed up for facebook and is most definitely busy playing the game on field!) This acknowledgement which is completely hollow... completely unauthentic .... completely blinding ! I say A completely sad state of affair .... and I too might be a sorry victim to this sham !!

Since, I too am in the same boat as others .... I do not consider myself adept to criticise others . I should thus refrain myself from doing so further.

 As a child , I have always been inclined to doing some good to society  (All thanks to my convent upbringing which brainwashed all of us into believing that this was the only way to serve "GOD" and if we did not do it .... we are all going to hell!) & thus, till date I am strongly inclined to it . But unfortunately I was born unplanned so how the bloody hell will any of my "plans" work out as planned .... I have failed in life again and again.... and  I consistently lag behind my contemporaries. Wherein in reality I am constantly reminded of it from time to time .... on facebook the empty appreciation I receive from my stranger "friends" is motivation enough not to give up and keep moving on.... not to forget those very people help me set up bench marks for myself . 

Unfortunately, despite all that motivation and objectives...the end result is that I waste time... procrastinate work ... and ultimately end up feeling even more miserable after "logging off"...than before "logging in" ! 
Nevertheless, this fake sense of happiness that I try to derive from FB is proof enough that it has indeed become my new habitat and for millions out there with similar or probably entirely different problems of their own . People have voluntarily chosen to withdraw themselves from their real world... their real planet and live happily in this fake one... what can one say ... the need for happiness and belongingness is what compels all (including me) to resort to such measures.So friends while the world is busy saving the planet by protecting the tigers & trees ... reducing pollution and population ...abolishing women atrocities and saving the girl child .... finding the missing children .... supporting Anna Hazare ...supporting homosexuality... standing for peace ... against war...against racism...against corruption... ALL OF IT IS ONLY ON THE INTERNET...ON FACEBOOK ... JUST BY A CLICK .... JUST BY SOME PETTY SHARES & LIKES & COMMENTS .....all done so in an effort to make oneself believe that we are actually doing some good...we are actually "CHANGING THE SOCIETY...CHANGING THE PLANET !! "

While in reality...in the real world...on the real planet .... we are only sitting on a desktop ... on a machine ...a man made machine ... doing nothing .... NOTHING AT ALL !! And How I marvel at the way we brag of this NEW AGE ERA... this NEW AGE TECHNOLOGY ..... THIS NEW PLANET DISCOVERED !!

It all reminds me of the "OSTRICH" which when sees danger ahead of it...digs a deep hole in the ground and immerses its head within it ... to make believe itself that it will survive the forthcoming danger  .... it will get over the worst ahead of it ... when the matter of the fact is ... IT WON'T ..... WE WON'T !! 

Thinking Again ..... !!!!

The LOVE of my life was LOVE at first sight ! 
This Post got me to thinking again...as usual not for too long !!

"WHEN I AM IN LOVE !!"

Falling in LOVE consists merely in uncorking  the imagination and  bottling the common sense .....

-  HELEN ROWLAND !

When I am in love ! When I am in love ? Well the fact that in the middle of the night I am blogging on love is a clear indication that I am very much in love . Yes! It is indeed love ... not a crush or an infatuation and No! It did not return back to me .... still on the wait ...hoping that one day destiny will shine upon me and I will have what I have been waiting for or rather whom I have been waiting for ...for years . But till then I can only reflect upon my actions "when I am in love!!"

When I am in love!! I go nuts . No seriously ,I do!! Being born an Aries I am  any ways short on self esteem but when love strikes whatever little that I have flies right outside the window. Being the fairer sex I should'nt be ever taking the initiatives (at least that's what I have realised with time.) Yet! I constantly continue to break the rules of courting and end up falling flat on my face and Ouch!! does that hurt. Not only do I end up losing the guy but also bittering the entire experience so much that we can't even look each other in the eye. Not that I do it intentionally . It is just that I am extremely naive and have no experience with the opposite sex because of which I don't understand their psychology and enter into battle without any preparation. It really sucks ... mostly post mistakes made in approaching ... because what follows is a phase which never seems to end i.e. self doubt... lack of confidence.. self hatred.. god hatred... hate ..hate... and only hate !! So, what does LOVE exactly make out of me "When I am in love!" Obviously it makes me a better and a bigger HATER! 

To top it all off what still follows that is loneliness and sadness . Agreed everyone says and feels that love is the best emotion and being in love is the best phase of one's life but for me those moments are the worst ... always have been ... at least so far ! I honestly hate to be in love and always pray to my god that I don't fall in love ... it is a scary phase you know! Of course! every experience has made me more mature and less desperate but also more bitter towards life and the opposite sex as a result of which I trust very little...fuss a lot and God! Do I start swearing like crazy . If there is so much negativity associated with love then how can it be considered the most positive emotion . I fail to understand. What I do understand is that in this world and for attaining happiness you do not need to love ... you need to be loved. As I have a lot of love for everyone around me but that does not define my state of happiness. It will be defined when I will be loved in return. So in short my happiness is controlled by someone else .... now that really sucks ! You know what sucks harder . It is when you are being loved by someone other than  who you love ! It is all so complicated ... Isn't it?? Well "when I am in love!" ... It is indeed complicated...It always has been !

INNER PEACE !! SAY WHAAAT??

Recently I came across this very cool post on a famous social networking site. Got me to thinking ... thinking really hard.. only for a split second ; coz I ain't got d whole day! 
Posting the message here...maybe it will get others to give their days to it :)

WHY I NEED TO BLOG !

I have often wondered if I talk too much;because many times I have noticed people do not want to listen to what I have to share. But of late I have realised that the problem is not my speech ; it is their ears. Today people have shut their ears to others problems just as they have shut their hearts to them. I too might be a poor victim to this growing trend, who knows! Sad if I am; because I try to listen to everyone as much as possible but despite that effort maybe someone very close to me goes without being heard by me. I am sorry for that . It is purely unintentional. Any ways this could be just an excuse like many others for instance, too busy, no time , too many speaking or worse I do not give a damn attitude! Just as poor listening can victimize you , similarly poorly heard is a greater threat to one's need for communication. This is what has been troubling me from ages . Initially I spoke less , was reserved. So everybody took it for granted that I do not have anything to share . I tried and I tried but all in vain and it is then I realised that why should I wait for someone who knows me well to listen to my stories of my sorrows or happiness. Why can't I just share it with random strangers who do not know me and will hear me ( through my writings of course!) with a more objective point of view and probably give me better and wiser advices through comments. I have experimented and failed throughout my life . No harm with just one more such experiment . More then getting any response it is the feeling of being able to vent my thoughts and sentiments is a much more liberating and exciting experience in itself . THAT IS EXACTLY WHY I NEED TO BLOG ! Hope this experience brings out a writer in me and most importantly pulls me out of the mundane sadness that blankets and blocks the freedom of expression that my heart and soul craves for. Hope this experience makes me happy again ! 

LOVE ME ... OR NOT !!

 "White Flag" by Dido !

" I know you think that I shouldn't still love you,

Or tell you that.

But if I didn't say it, well I'd still have felt it

where's the sense in that?

I promise I'm not trying to make your life harder

Or return to where we were

I will go down with this ship

And I won't put my hands up and surrender

There will be no white flag above my door

I'm in love and always will be

I know I left too much mess and

destruction to come back again

And I caused nothing but trouble

I understand if you can't talk to me again

And if you live by the rules of "it's over"

then I'm sure that that makes sense

I will go down with this ship

And I won't put my hands up and surrender

There will be no white flag above my door

I'm in love and always will be

And when we meet

Which I'm sure we will

All that was there

Will be there still

I'll let it pass

And hold my tongue

And you will think

That I've moved on....

I will go down with this ship

And I won't put my hands up and surrender

There will be no white flag above my door

I'm in love and always will be

I will go down with this ship

And I won't put my hands up and surrender

There will be no white flag above my door

I'm in love and always will be

I will go down with this ship

And I won't put my hands up and surrender

There will be no white flag above my door

I'm in love and always will be... "

THERMODYNAMICS OF HELL !!!!!!

The following is an actual question given on a , University of washington , Chemistry mid-term.
The answer by one of the student was so " profound" , that the professor shared it with colleagues , via the internet , which is of course! why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.....
BONUS QUESTION- Is HELL exothermic ( gives off heat) or endothermic ( absorbs heat) ??

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using 'Boyle's Law'-gas cools off when it expands and heats up when it is compressed.....or some variant.

One student however wrote the following :
First we need to know how the 'mass of hell' is changing with 'time'. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into hell and the rate at which they are leaving.
I think that we can safely assume that , once a soul gets into hell...it will not leave , therefore , no souls are leaving.
As for , how many souls are entering hell....some religions state that if u are not a member of their religion , U will go to hell !!
Since there are more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion , we can project that all souls go to hell !!
With birth and death rate as they are , we can expect , the number of souls to increase in hell
exponentially...

Now , we look at the rate of change of volume in hell.....because Boyle's Law states that inorder that the temperature and pressure ( in hell ) stays the same.....the volume of hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.
This gives two possibilities :
1- If hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter hell , then the temperature and pressure will increase till all hell breaks loose !!
2-If hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in hell , then temperature and pressure will drop until hell freezes over !!

so which is it ??
If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my freshman year , "......that it will be a cold day in hell , before I go out with you ," and take into account the fact that I still have not succeeded in having any relations with her , then.......the second possibility cannot be true , and thus , I'm sure that hell is exothermic and will not freeze...

*The student recieved the only "A" given...